THE diamond drops of rain on my window, they cut into my conscience and will not leave me alone! Seen through them, the world reveals its true meaning and shape. Everything seems larger, clearer and frighteningly close – almost as if while I am looking at it, it is peeping into my very soul. But I can’t take myself away from this window; the view has me under its spell.

Image: Preetilata, via Thursday Tales

Look, is that a policeman getting off the train at the station up over there? I’m sure it is, although he is in plainclothes. He is clearly looking towards this building, Sanctuary apartments, staring at my window. Does my secret show? As for those cars down below, pretending to rush past unconcerned, at least some of those are police vehicles trying to merge into the traffic and lure me out of my home. Wherever I turn to look, I find myself under an inescapable, relentless gaze. I can see the street lamp come close, too close. I am not fooled by its air of cold indifference; I know it is coming to get me. And that scarlet orb on the building there, why does it grow steadily larger and mock at me so? Stop, please believe me, I have tried so hard but the stains just won’t go away. I have done nothing else but wash my hands for the last few days…

Maybe the rain will cleanse me… diamonds for diamonds and the blood that flowed… here, I have opened the window a wee bit; the air feels cool and soothing against my feverish brow…but I still can’t feel the rain on my guilty hands outstretched in urgent supplication… let me lean out a little… yes, this is better, a little further and everything will be okay… just a wee bit more…

Crrraaash!

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